


memory ensnared in a web, in a cage

by paradoxicalrenegade (citadelofswords)



Category: Dumb Kids Playing Hero (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, all them kids are technically here, ends with a hope spot but haha (looks at the next few episodes) haha, major spoilers for episode 39, oh my god they were roommates, slightly more minor spoilers for developments in episode 44
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:47:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26990887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citadelofswords/pseuds/paradoxicalrenegade
Summary: This wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right. She shouldn’t still be injured— the morph should have healed her. Carefully, she checked her face— everything was right there, teeth only as sharp as they’d been before all this started. No tail, no paws, no fur— she was completely human. But a heavily injured one.(or, a reckless ariel tries to cope.)
Relationships: Ariel & Kel Mahoney
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	memory ensnared in a web, in a cage

**Author's Note:**

> i was not gonna put any of the origfic for my own podcast on ao3 but this thing is nearly 3k so y'all get it instead. you ever uhhhhh accidentally expy rachel berenson but you've not actually ever read animorphs
> 
> with endless thanks to jade for RPing out kel's dialogue with me and the rest of the crew for enabling the shit out of the angst gremlin tendencies

The thing was— the thing was, Ariel hadn’t even really thought about it. It was a no-brainer. A Hork-Bajir was headed straight for Adrian’s exposed back, and he was too busy focusing on the Taxxon that had lost its head to hell hunger to notice.

Ariel saw it. She didn’t even think about it. She slammed into Adrian with enough time to knock the blow off-kilter, saving his life and narrowly avoiding getting impaled herself. Barely even felt the pain, honestly.

She roared, tiger voice doing better to be intimidating than she could hope to be as a human, and felt the whole room freeze for an instant before the battle resumed. Lunging in, she tore out the throat of the Hork-Bajir with her teeth, and whirled on her next opponent.

It was all a bit of a blur after that, if she was honest. Then they were splitting up and she was limping, in tiger form, away to a corner to morph back.

Her flank was throbbing with dull pain, and she grit her teeth and let the tiger form fall away, taking her usual human shape back. She drew in a deep breath— and immediately started choking on air as _pain_ washed over her, more even than when she’d injured her leg in boxing, more even than when Mal had accidentally clocked her in the face when she was eight and knocked her teeth out.

This wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right. She shouldn’t still be injured— the morph should have healed her. Carefully, she checked her face— everything was right there, teeth only as sharp as they’d been before all this started. No tail, no paws, no fur— she was completely human. But a heavily injured one.

She touched her chest and bit hard on her tongue to avoid crying out. Oh, oh fuck, that was way bigger than she’d thought it was, and it stretched all the way down her side. This was bad. This was really, really bad.

Okay. She couldn’t take deep breaths, obviously, but she needed to move fast and stay calm. She’d be no use out here alone, her friends wouldn’t be able to find her and hospitals were right out. She was just gonna have to grit her teeth, push through the injury, and make her way back to the boat as quickly as she could. While also avoiding any traces that a bloodtrail could lead them back to her friends— fuck.

With a shaking hand, she fished her phone from her pocket and tried to fumble out a text to Dante. No reply— understandable, he was probably still moving. Adrian, then, she’d text Adrian, but he didn’t reply either. She was heading in some direction now, trying to find her jacket so she could maybe staunch the bloodflow a little, but she was starting to get kind of woozy, and before she knew it she was stumbling up the gangplank to the boat and going down to the kitchens.

Everyone was there. She paused in the doorway, slumping against the frame, just looking at all of them through swimming eyes. Adrian was fine. Jude was fine. Dante was banging around looking for coffee. Benny looked tired, but he always looked tired. Kel had their hand over their eyes to block out the light, but otherwise looked fine.

“There you are,” Dante said, jolting Ariel from her thoughts. “We were wondering where you went.”

“I texted you,” Ariel said, or tried to, because her voice didn’t seem to be working, and no one seemed to be paying attention to her.

“Just got worried, maybe they caught you or something,” Dante had continued, like she hadn’t said anything. “Wouldn’t want you giving up our location or anything, or the exit pipeline you so helpfully set up for us.”

Ariel didn’t say anything. Probably everyone should know by now that she’d die before she gave up the crew to anything— literally rip her own throat out before a Yeerk could infest her and give up the location of the boat— but maybe it wouldn’t matter; at the rate she was bleeding out maybe she wouldn’t even make it to morning.

Was anyone gonna notice? Probably not, she thought bitterly. She loved these guys, she really did, but when she’d finally gotten her phone back after the Yeerk pool escape she’d only had missed calls from Jude, which had stung a little. Hell, she’d gotten this injury saving Adrian’s life, and he wasn’t even looking at her.

Oh, no, he was. Eyes narrowed, and then suddenly going wide. “Ariel, are you okay?”

Ariel laughed a little, and the whole room went quiet. It was barely audible, but she touched her chest, where she’d started to bleed through her jacket, and looked at her hand in vague interest. “No,” she said, cause she’d never lied to her friends and she didn’t intend to start now, and that was when her legs gave out from underneath her.

Adrian yelled something, something hit the counter, and Ariel sat bolt upright in bed, breathing hard, hands flying to her chest and unblemished skin.

Okay. Nightmare. Cool. She loved that neat new bit of trauma, having nightmares about no one noticing she was hurt until it was too late. Closing her eyes, she sucked in air until she was breathing normally, head between her knees.

She’d never really been a crier before, but she was starting to get a little concerned that she hadn’t yet.

Blindly, she fumbled for her phone to check the time, and then hesitated, a thumb over the messaging app. She wasn’t— look, she didn’t really want to bother anyone with this, but if her feelings in that incredibly vivid dream were anything to go by she didn’t want any resentment building up because she didn’t reach out to her friends and then they didn’t see anything either.

For a moment she considered texting Dante, but hesitated over his name, and groaned softly, flopping back into bed. No. No need to text him now. Or, really, any of the others.

She could handle it.

Outside Ariel's room, a door closed. Ariel jumped before remembering she was living in an apartment with an insomniac and relaxed again. They’d only been here for a couple weeks, but Ariel thought it was going okay. They were still just figuring out what living in the same space meant to each other.

Footsteps paused outside Ariel’s door for a moment— there was the shadow there, she could see it— and then the click of Kel’s cane as it moved away again, into the kitchen. Frowning, Ariel peeled back her blankets and slipped on a pair of socks. Kel was… putting a pot of water on to boil? This never happened, or almost never did.

The kitchen was just around the corner from Ariel’s room, bless this tiny apartment, and there Kel stood at the stovetop, in flannel pants and an old t-shirt with the neckline cut out, standing over a pot. “Hey,” Ariel said, trying to telegraph her movements to not startle them. “Are… are you okay?”

Kel looked around and focused on Ariel. “Wasn’t really sleeping so I thought I’d get some reading done,” they said, with a half shrug. “Then I... heard you wake up, thought you could use something.”

“Oh.” That was, slightly embarrassing, but mostly Ariel was just stunned into silence. “Uh, okay.” Carefully, they crossed the kitchen, and pulled themself onto the counter to watch. Kel was boiling some milk, and dug around in a cabinet for a tea mix of some kind. The chai thing, Ariel realized, that she’d seen Kel make for themself a couple times when they were having a bad day. It always smelled amazing.

They were making it for _her_.

Soon enough there was a mug pressed into their hands and Ariel took a long drink. It was just on the cooler side of boiling, only a touch uncomfortable instead of burning her tongue, and Ariel blinked at it, and then at Kel, standing next to them and looking kind of like they wanted to say something.

The kitchen was silent for a moment as they both sipped at their drink, and then Kel seemed to make up their mind and blurted, “My folks used to make this for me when I had bad dreams. Mostly Da but I figure it was Mam who taught him.”

“It’s good,” Ariel said. “Soothing.” Oh, God, how fucking stupid could they be— but Kel looked up, looking kind of relieved, and Ariel reminded herself she probably wasn’t the only one feeling awkward right now.

“That was the hope,” they said. “It sounded like...it didn’t sound like you were having a great time in there.”

Ariel grimaced. Understatement of the century. “Yeah, uh, not really.” Her hand ghosted up to her side, almost unconsciously. “It’s… it’s a lot.”

“Do you need a pack or something?” Startled, Ariel stared at Kel, and then jerked her hand away from her side. “I got both kinds - the hot ones will take a couple of minutes but the cold are ready to go.”

“No!” She almost windmilled, not wanting to physically stop Kel but tripping over her tongue trying to get the words out. “No, no, I’m not hurt. Thanks, though.” She takes a deep breath. She wasn’t gonna say it, but— “You ever have dreams where it’s hard to tell them apart from reality?”

“Oh, well, thats good.” Kel said, looking faintly embarrassed, before their eyes stretched wide and they backpedaled a little. Ariel almost smiled, but knew it wouldn’t help. “The not being hurt part, not the dreams part. That...Yeah, no, I get those sometimes.”

Ariel quickly broke eye contact and stared into their mug. “The morphing... It heals physical wounds and damage,” she said, haltingly. “Like I had a major leg injury that was gonna have me out of kickboxing ‘til next spring and the first time I morphed back it was just. Gone.”

Out of the corner of their eye they could see Kel’s hand flutter over their own hip. “It’s a helluva thing to be sure,” they agreed. “How… was it for you?”

Ariel took a moment to piece her words together. “Weird. Really, really weird.” She looked up for a second, a quick glance at Kel, then away. “I... know it’s not the same as EDS. The injuries I get from kickboxing, they’re... Obviously you’re not aiming to draw blood, but you do sometimes, and I heal up and I remember I’m alive. This is... this kinda sucks, honestly.” Before she could stop herself, she burst out, “I just worry it’s gonna break when one of us needs it most. I mean, that day we met you, Dante got fucking impaled. He woulda died if not for—,” they waved a hand, and cut themself off. “I don’t want to get too reliant on it.”

“That makes sense. Like, it’s a scary thing to have, even scarier thing for it to be gone again without warning.”

Kel’s hand started to curl and uncurl at their side, and Ariel kicked herself internally. Right. Kel and Dante, they were dating now or something. Kel probably didn’t want to be reminded of the day they first met, how Dante almost died.

“Yeah,” Ariel said. “And I—,” Nope, not going that direction. They bit down on their lip, hard enough that sudden pain lanced out to their brain as they almost broke skin.

“And you are more likely to get hurt?”

Ariel nodded, and then (maybe a little petulantly) added, “I can take it.” She could take it. She knew she could. She just wanted to— she just needed to know someone would _notice_.

“I’m not gonna tell you that you can’t handle yourself, Ariel. I’m not that brave or that stupid.” Ariel snorted a little, taking the attempt at levity for what it was, and Kel set down their mug and crossed the tiny kitchen to lean against the counter, right next to Ariel. “But we aren’t talking about whether or not you can take the hits, are we? It’s about what comes after...or might not come after.”

Holy shit.

“Right?”

Ariel just blinked at Kel, startled that they’d managed to get it so completely. Then they snorted and closed their eyes, leaning back against the cabinet. “Got it in one, _ketsele_ ,” they said, and cringed as they realized they’d just let the little endearment slip out.

But Kel didn’t comment on it— Ariel felt the air move next to her shoulder with their nod, and the sharp intake of breath that didn’t even leave her a moment to panic before they were saying, “You do know you can tell one of us if you’re hurt, right? Like, no one’s gonna think less of you for it.”

“I know.” Ariel picked up her mug again and took a big sip, letting the china muffle her words. “I just,” she mumbled, “I don’t want to have to.”

“Oh.”

Ariel was worried, for a moment, that she came off as childish. Petulant. Proving Kel right even as she was trying to convince them that wasn’t what was happening. The room felt cold as the silence stretched.

Kel broke it. “Ariel, can I hug you?”

What. _What_. Ariel didn’t even remember the last hug they got— from Mal, maybe, at New Year, or Lorelei even before that, and it was three in the morning and they were both in pajamas and Ariel was taking too long to answer and what if Kel took it back— “Yeah. Yeah, that’s— that’s pretty much always okay, you can—,”

Kel wrapped their arms around her middle, and Ariel froze solid, mug still in one hand. Their glasses were digging awkwardly into her ribs and it couldn’t have been comfortable for them from their position on the floor but— but they were warm and soft and _solid_ and— and they knew exactly how much pressure Ariel needed to feel secure. And she did feel secure, even though with the counter she had two feet or so on Kel, and—

She needed to hug them back. She did, and melted into it because her body was a traitor, but it had been a while, and while she and Adrian had chatted about feelings or whatever no one had just hugged her and told her it would be alright. Ariel hadn’t even realized it was what she needed until this exact moment, getting hugged by her roommate in their kitchen at three AM.

“So,” Kel said, and slowly pulled back. “If you don’t want to go back t’sleep, I was gonna still do that reading. On the sofa.”

Ariel didn’t really have to think long about that. Maybe she would go back to sleep, maybe she wouldn’t; but she really didn’t want to be alone right now. “If you don’t mind,” she said, and picked up her mug again. There wasn’t much left in it, but Ariel wanted to finish it before it went cold.

Kel shook their head. “If I minded, I wouldn’t have made the offer in the first place.” Ariel just stared at them for a moment, searching their gaze for any sign of insincerity, but Kel met their eyes square on (and didn’t that just startle Ariel; they knew how hard eye contact was.) “I want you to,” they said, quieter, and pulled away entirely, picking up their cane where it was leaning against the counter. “Be right there.”

Ariel just stared at the couch for a moment as Kel disappeared into their room. What was the appropriate seat to take— they couldn’t sit side-by-side, because Ariel would want to snuggle and that seemed like a little too much. But sitting on the arm of the couch wasn;’t really close enough; Ariel was already feeling cold, even through sweater and slippers.

Finally they settled on snuggling up against the arm of the couch, knees pulled up slightly, slippers discarded on the floor to not put them right on the seat, just as Kel came back out with their book and a blanket draped over their shoulders. They dropped right next to Ariel’s feet, leaned the cane against the couch, and pulled the blanket off so it draped mostly over Ariel’s legs, and their own lap.

It’s nice. Ariel had a perfectly cordial relationship with their last roommate, but they never spent time together in total silence like this, with no pressure to speak or anything. Ariel stuck her cold toes under Kel’s thighs and got a glare and a flick of the page, but they didn’t try to shove her away. She didn’t even really do anything, just fidgeted quietly with the edge of her pajama shirt and let her thoughts wander away.

(It was almost dawn, and Ariel was drifting in and out of sleep, when Kel looked up from their book and fixed them with an intensity Ariel would be uncomfortable with if she weren’t mostly asleep. “Hey,” Kel said. “I worry about you.” It didn’t sound like they thought she needed help; it sounded like they were trying to reassure her. “I’ll check in with you more, make sure you’re okay. Now I feel like I can.”

“Mmph,” Ariel mumbled, just about asleep. “Yeah, okay.”

They missed Kel’s tiny smile at the snore they let out, as they slipped back into sleep, feeling warm and safe for the first time since they’d met Elfangor.)

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on twitter @citadelofswords and you can find dumb kids @dkphpod!
> 
> ketsele means "kitten" in yiddish.
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: i'm pretty chill with fanworks about my characters and my projects, fucking go for it, i don't often come into these tags myself for liability reasons. however given the subject matter i'm trying to grapple with and the identities of the other characters in the crew i'd ask y'all to please not write romantic/sexual fanfiction of ariel with any other character. she isn't that kind of character and if i see it i will ask you to take it down.


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